Red vs Blue: Anime Style
by church2550
Summary: Imagine some of your favorite characters from anime as the RvB cast  Warning there will be alot of OOCness aka Out Of Character
1. Cast

**Red vs Blue: Anime Style**

**The Cast (so far)**

**(A/N: I am going to be needing suggestions for some of the characters)  
**

**The Reds  
**

Shugenatei (OC) as _Sarge_

Yuki Sohma (FURUBA) as _Dick Simmons_

Naruto Uzumaki (NARUTO) as _Dexter Grif_

Negi Springfield (NEGIMA!) as _Franklin Delano Donut_

Tebaschtoua (OC) as _Lopez_

**The Blues**

Ranma Saotome (RANMA 1/2) as _Leonard L. Church_

Kyo Sohma (FURUBA) as _Lavernius Tucker_

Scott Pilgrim (SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD) as _Micheal J. Caboose_

Akane Tendo (RANMA 1/2) as _Freelancer Tex (Allison)_

Holo (SPICE AND WOLF) as _M808V Main Battle Tank Sheila_

Tohru Honda (FURUBA) as _Kaikaina "Sister" Grif_

as _Blarggity "Junior" Blarg-Tucker_

as _Captain Butch Flowers_

**Everyone else  
**

Himself as _Omega "Doctor O'Malley"_

as _Frank "Doc" DuFresne_

Himself as _Andy The Bomb  
_

as _Crunchbite aka The Alien_

Edward "Fullmetal" Elric as _Vic/Vic Jr._

Danny Fenton (DANNY PHANTOM) as _Jimmy_

Goku (Dragonball Z) as _Agent Washington_

as _Agent Wyoming_

as _Agent York_

Lye (OC) as _Agent South Dakota_

as _Agent North Dakota_

as _The Meta_

as _The Red Zealot_

Himself as _Gamma "Gary"_

Himself as _Delta_

Inuyasha (INUYASHA) as _Epsilon_

as _Walter Henderson_

as _The Counselor_

as _The Director_

as _The Chairman_

Kasanoda (OHSHC) as _Joanes_

as _Lieutenant Miller_

as _Phil_


	2. The beginning and a warthog

**Red vs Blue: Anime Style**

**Part 1/Chapter 1: The Beginning and a Warthog**

_All credits to the original script go to Rooster Teeth Productions, and all characters are credit to their creators . I own nothing but the OC's._

It was another fairly normal day in the canyon of unchanging hot temperature for the Red Team. Their commander was to arrive shortly later in the day, leaving Private First Class Yuki Sohma and Private Naruto Uzumaki to stand guard on top of the base. The only sound was the wind and their breathing, while birds from unknown origin chirped. Nobody could ever find those damn birds.

Yuki took this opportunity to strike up a conversation with the only person there, even if half the time the two couldn't stand one another.

"Hey."

Naruto glanced up at Yuki, as if he had just woken up from a nap. "Yeah?"

"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"

Naruto turned his gaze back to the sky, as if in deep thought. "It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?" He turned his head back to Yuki. "Why are we here?" This time, his body changed positions so his entire self was facing her comrade. "I mean, are we a product of... some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God… watching everything? You know with a plan for us and stuff." Naruto stared out into the canyon once more. "I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night."

"…"

"…"

"What?" Yuki quirked a brow. "I meant, why are we out _here_, in this canyon?" Yuki folded his arms, watching Naruto turn away, flustered by the misunderstanding.

Naruto was now looking as stupid as ever "Oh, uh… yeah.

"What was all that stuff about God?"

"Uh…hm? Nothing." Naruto quickly retorted.

Yuki began to turn his head away, but then it returned to its previous spot. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Despite the fact Naruto still hadn't turned his back away from Yuki yet, Yuki continued on. "Seriously though man, why _are_ we out here? Far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon, in the middle of nowhere, with no way in or out."

"Mhm."

"The only reason we set up a red base here, is because they have a blue base over there. And the only reason they have a blue base over there, is because we have a red base here."

Naruto finally made eye contact with his partner. "Yeah, that's because we're fighting each other."

"No no, but I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and they were to come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon." Yuki rolled his eyes. "Whoop de fucking doo."

"What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know Rednaxela blows up all of P.E.R.V.'s forces, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere fighting a bunch of Blue guys."

* * *

That was the last bit of conversation Private Ranma Saotome of the Blue Army bothered to pay attention to through the scope of his rarely used sniper rifle. He didn't even know if the damn thing shot successfully or not; all he did was use the telescope function on it.

Private First Class Kyo Sohma attempted to peek into the scope. "What're they doing?"

Ranma glanced up, furrowing his brow and the return of Kyo's voice. "What?"

"I said what're they doing now?" Kyo attempted to get a hold of the sniper rifle, before Ranma quickly jerked the bulky weaponry away.

"God damn!" Ranma cursed, "I'm getting so sick of answering that question!" His eyes darted away from his partner, because he felt if he had another look at him he would get a nice punch in the jaw.

Kyo's hands quickly moved to his hips. "Hey, you have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick all day."

Ranma growled quietly to himself, before slowly returning his eyes to Kyo. "Okay, okay look. They're just standing there, and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they _ever_ do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing five minutes ago. So five minutes from _now_, when you ask me, 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be 'They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!'" Ranma quickly and angrily turned himself back to his weapon.

A moment of silence passed, before Kyo asked, "…What're they talking about?"

Ranma felt the rifle crack slightly under his grip. "You know what? I fucking hate you."

* * *

Unaware of the conversation above, Naruto and Yuki continued yammering away in a conversation that didn't end in sudden bickering.

"Talk about a waste of resources" Naruto sighed. "I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent life forms. You know, fight them."

"Yeah, no shit." Yuki said, in one of those rare moments where she became relaxed enough to swear, "That's why they should put _us_ in charge."

Their commander's sharp voice suddenly rang into their ears.

"Ladies!" the tall man born of darkness, Sergeant Shugenatei, shouted at his subordinates, "Front and center, on the double!"

"Fuck me," Yuki murmured.

"Yes sir!" came Naruto's response. The two privates used the conveniently placed ramp to slide onto the canyon sand.

"Hurry up ladies; this ain't no ice cream social!" Shugenatei spat.

"Ice cream social?"

"Stop the pillow-talk, you two." Shugenatei tilted his head back slightly, in an annoyed fashion, eyebrow quirked. "Anyone want to take a guess, as to why I gathered you out here, today?"

"Uh..." Yuki and Naruto took a quick glance at eachother, before Naruto responded, "Um, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?"

A spark of annoyance flared up in the sergeant's eyes before he smiled. "That's exactly it, private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Sohma here..." His face suddenly turned violent, as he screamed, "IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!"

Naruto's eyes widened, not by the emotion, but the volume. Sarge, as they normally called Shugenatei, often was prone to violent outbursts like that. Yuki was convinced it was old age, but Shugenatei looked no more than 30. "I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir."

"God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll have Sohma slit your throat while you're asleep," Shugenatei threatened.

"Oh, I'd do it, too," Yuki smiled, gently putting his hand to his chest before shooting a mischievous smile at Naruto.

"I know you would, Sohma… good man."

"Couple things today, ladies." Shugenatei turned to face away from his soldiers. "Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1."

Naruto moaned. "Crap, we're getting a rookie."

"That's right dead man." Shugenatei smirked. "Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Tebaschtoua... bring up the vehicle."

The robot, manufactured by Shugenatei himself, pulled up a jeep with a gun turret attached to the back end (with enough room to stand to operate the weapon) over the hilltop.

"Shotgun." Yuki called.

"Shotgun." Naruto but realized he was a little late, "Fuck."

"May I introduce our new light reconnaissance vehicle. Four inch armor plating ...maaag buffer suspension...a mounted machine gunner position with armor-piercing bullets, and total seating for three!" Shugenatei patted the hood of the vehicle. "Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV!" With pride, the sergeant quickly examined the armor plating. "...I like to call it the Warthog."

Yuki raised his hand slowly. "Why 'Warthog' sir?"

"Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son."

"No, but...why 'Warthog'?" Naruto began, unconvinced by the answer. "I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig."

Shugenatei glared at his least favorite private. "Say that again."

"I think it looks more like a..." Naruto quickly examined the car. "A puma."

Shugenatei stopped, thought momentarily, then bit at his lip. "What in Sam Hill is a puma?"

Yuki pretended to mull over this for a second, although he knew damn well what a puma was. "You mean, like the shoe company?"

Naruto groaned. "No, like a puma. It's a big cat, kinda like a lion."

Shugenatei's glare became harder. "You're making that up."

"I'm telling you it's a real animal!" Naruto shouted.

The sergeant quickly glanced at Yuki. "Sohma, I want you to poison Uzumaki's next meal."

"Yes sir" was Yuki's response.

"See these two tow hooks?" Shugenatei crouched to emphasize his point. "They look like tusks. Now what kind of animal...has tusks?"

"A walrus."

"Didn't I just tell you to stop makin' up animals?" Shugenatei barked.

* * *

As they had been for the past five or so minutes, Ranma and Kyo were still positioned on their small cliff hideout.

"Hey," Kyo pointed at the vehicle below, "What is that thing?"

"I don't know, but it looks like uh,… looks like they got some kind of car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it."

"A car? How come they get a car?"

"What the fuck are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."

"You can't put up chicks in a tank."

Ranma, even though he had calmed down, quickly felt his anger swell up once again. "Oh, you know what; you could bitch about anything, couldn't you. We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up man?"

Kyo shrugged in response.

"Firay, and secondly, how are we gonna pick up chicks in a damn car that looks like that!"

"...Well what kind of car is it?"

"I don't know, I've never seen a car that looks like that before… like a, uh, a big cat of some kind."

"… …What like a puma?"

"Yeah man there you go."

* * *

"So!" Shugenatei slammed his fist against the hood of the vehicle. "Unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with 'the Warthog'." She took a step closer to Naruto. "How about it, Uzumaki?"

"No sir, no more suggestions" the blonde private responded dispassionately.

"Are you sure? How about Bigfoot?"

"That's okay."

"Unicorn?"

"No really, I'm... I'm cool."

"Sasquatch?"

"Leprechaun?" Yuki chimed in.

"Hey, he doesn't need any help man..." Naruto grumbled.

"Phoenix!" Shugenatei suddenly shouted.

"Huh...Christ" Naruto had to hold himself back from attaching palm to face in disgust.

"Hey, Sohma. What's the name of that Mexican lizard, eats all the goats?"

"Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir."

"Hey Uzumaki! Chupathingie, how 'bout that? I like it! Got a ring to it..."

* * *

6r1f1n470r: man i wonder how this going to work out

Yuki: why do i have to be the kissass

Naruto: Hey at least your guy isn't lazy

Kyo: I hope Tohru doesn't find out

Tohru: Find out what

Kyo: oh nothing

Tohru: I already know about who you play he's my favorite character

Kyo: Wait you watch the show

Tohru: Yep and I'm glad you're in this version

Shugenatei: I'm gonna kill 6r1f1n470r

Ranma: When does Akane show up

Akane: Yeah

6r1f1n470r: in a few more chapters

Tohru: Hey can i get a part in this

6r1f1n470r: Which character

Whispers in his ear

6r1f1n470r: you sure

Tohru: yep

6r1f1n470r: okay looks like Lye is gonna have to be Agent South

Lye: Awwwww but why

tells her the reason

Lye: oh thats fine then

Tohru: thanks

Lye: youre welcome

6r1f1n470r: well got to go to work on english and science and drama

Cast: SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER


	3. The Rookies and The Flag

**Red vs Blue: Anime Style**

**Part 1/Chapter 2: The Rookies and The Flag**

_All credits to the original script go to Rooster Teeth Productions, and all characters are credit to their creators. I own nothing but the OC's._

Time passed, as it normally does, at a rather slow pace. Days often felt like weeks, weeks like months, but eventually the appropriate amount of time passed for the newest face to arrive for the Red team. Naruto and Yuki had failed to notice the newcomer coming up the ramp, however, as they were caught in their normal bickering session.

"Hey, that's not exactly what happened," Yuki yelled, folding his arms.

"Yes it is. You said 'I'm not going to the Vegas Quadrant,' and then the next thing I know you're in an escape pod headed for-" said Naruto arguing with the maroon private.

"Excuse me uh, sirs?" the new soldier coughed in an attempt make his presence known to the two squabbling ladies, giving both of them a sensation akin to that of a heart attack.

"Sirs?" Yuki's brain finally caught up to his ears once he was able to catch his breath and regain his sense of reality.

"Ah crap" Naruto cursed under his breath.

"I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and speak to whoever's in charge?" The newcomer adjusted his bullet-proof armor.

Naruto shook his head tiredly. "Sorry man, Sarge is at Command getting orders. Ain't nobody in charge today."

"Actually private, he left me in charge while he's gone." Yuki lightly put his hand over Naruto's face to push him a centimeter or so to the back.

"You are such a kiss-ass!" Naruto yelled.

"Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you, I should-" Yuki cleared his throat, and said in what was supposed to be a raspy voice, "'Get into the Warthog and crush your head like a tomato-can.'"

"That's the worst impression I've ever heard?"

"Fuck off. Okay rookie, what's your story?"

"Private Negi Springfield, reporting for duty, sir." He whipped his staff out. **(His magic staff get your fucking head out of the gutter.)** "I'm ready to fight some of the forces."

Naruto sighed. "Couple things here, rookie. First off private Negi? I think someone needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?"

"Negi is my first name and this _is_ the standard issue red," Negi said, lightly scratching the side of his helmet.

"Yeah, I know. Listen. Only two kinds of people wear standard issue armor: officers and recruits. And since you're not threatening to gut me like a fish, you're probably not an officer," Naruto explained.

"But-_he's_ wearing red armor…" the rookie whimpered, pointing to Yuki.

"No, my armor is maroon. Your armor is red. There's a huge difference you moron."

"Well, how do _I_ get a different color armor?"

Yuki rolled his eyes. "I bet the Blues don't have to deal with this kind of crap."

The Blues, however, were too preoccupied with admiring their new tank to even deal with their rookie.

"So I say to the guy, "How're you gonna get the tank down to the planet?" And he goes, "I'll just put it on the ship" and I go, "if you've got a ship that can carry a tank, _why not just put guns on the ship and use it instead_?" the rookie, Private Scott Pilgrim, rambled on with a playful smile.

"Hey kid" Kyo uttered flatly.

"Yeah?"

"You're ruining the moment. Shut up."

"Oh. Okay. You got it man!"

"You know what?" Ranma smiled, which was a rare moment indeed, "I could blow up the whole God damn world with this thing."

"Okay, Private Negi, here's the deal," Yuki moved his hands to his hips. "We've got a very important mission for you. You think you can handle it?"

"Absolutely!"Negi nodded eagerly.

"We need you to go to the store, and get two quarts of Elbow Grease."

Naruto had to prevent himself from smiling. He knew _this_ gag. "Yeah and um, pick up some headlight fluid for the Puma too."

"The what?"

"He means the Warthog," Yuki interjected.

"Rookie, you do know where the store is, right?" Naruto asked.

"What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. Sure no problem." Negi nodded once more after mulling over it for a split second.

"Well, get going then!" Yuki waved his hand in a "shoo, shoo" manner.

began to make his way to the opposite side of the base, which was actually part of the canyon.

"Other way!"

Negi blanked out, before fleeing, flustered. "I-I knew that. I just got turned around, that's all!"

As disappeared from view, the two other soldiers watched with smiles.

"How long do you think," Yuki laughed. "Until he figures out there's no store?"

"I say, at least a week."

In the middle of the canyon, Negi stopped to cool off. He shook his head. "Elbow Grease, how stupid do they think I am?" He sighed, wiping sweat from her forehead. "Once I get back with that Headlight Fluid, I'm so gonna be talking to the Sergeant."

"You know what?" Kyo smiled. "Forget what I said before. We can definitely pick up chicks with this thing. Probably two or three chicks a piece."

"Oh, man. What're you gonna do with _two_ chicks?"

"Saotome, women are like Voltron. The more you can hook up the better."

"You think we were too mean to the kid?" Yuki sighed, resting his head on his chin.

"Nah, he'll just wander around for a few hours. What's the worst that can happen?"

Negi spotted what he thought was the store over the last hill. He smiled, feeling giddy and accomplished.

"Finally, there it is." he squealed, beginning to run over. "OH SWEET, THEY SELL TANKS!"

"Yeah, I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh..." Ranma looked off to the side, in an odd, whimsical fashion. "I've actually got a girl back home."

"Oh yeah" Kyo grinned. "Girlfriend or wife?"

"No, man, He's just my girlfriend you know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out… ah, you know how it works."

"I'm not gonna get married." Scott said while smirking. "My dad always says 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

_He shouldn't have said that. _Kyo thought to himself.

"Hey rookie...did you just call my girlfriend a cow?"

"No, I think he called her a slut!" Kyo interjected.

"I'll tell you what newb, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do."

Scott's eyes lit up. "Great."

"See, we've got this General.

Kyo knew that Ranma was pissed off so he played along to make sure the rookie didn't get hurt or himself for that matter, "Right, the General guy."

"…who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by."

"When is he coming by?"

"Hell if we ever fucking know," Kyo shrugged. "Could be today, could be a week from now."

"You want me to stand at attention for a week?" Scott pouted.

"You don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job in the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag."

Scott couldn't help but become confused. "What's so important about the flag?"

"Don't they teach you guys anything in training anymore?" Ranma spat.

"We weren't told anything about a flag. Why's the flag important?"

"Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's..." Knowing this wasn't really working, Ranma decided to do some damage control. "Sohma, you tell him why the flag is so important."

"It's..." Kyo scratched the backed of his head. "It's complicated. We're blue, it's blue..."

"It's just important, okay, trust us. So when the General comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag. So just...go in there, you know, away from us, and wait for him," Ranma ordered.

Scott, a bit disheartened, turned to head for the base. "...wait, how will I know when I see him?"

"There's only three of us out here, rookie. He's gonna be the guy that doesn't look like us." Kyo grumbled.

"Now get in there, and don't come back out!" Ranma shouted. He rubbed his temples before turning to Kyo. "Man, that guy is dumber than you are."

"You mean he's dumber than _you_ are."

"Wow, Sohma, greatest comeback ever."

Scott poked her head from the base. "Uh, mister Saotome? Sir?"

Ranma's pistol made a slight crunching noise. "My god..._**WHAT? **_Sohma, I swear, I'm gonna kill him."

"I-I'm sorry for calling your girlfriend a slut…"

"_**ROOKIE! SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN THERE!"**_

Kyo turns his head so that Ranma would notice him laughing, "Uh-huh huh huh huh"

Unfortunately Ranma did notice "Sohma, are you laughing at me?"

"Ah, excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?" Negi, emerging from the hillside, was about to tap Ranma on the shoulder.

"Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I... I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!"

"Wait! Wh-what did I do?"

"_One..._"

"Aw, come on, gimme a break."

"_**TWO!**_"

"Fine." scurried into the base, finding the lone Scott doodling on the concrete with chalk.

"Wow… you got here fast!" Scott smiled.

"God, why are people so freakin' rude in this canyon?" Negi pouted.

"I-I'm not sir, what can I help you with?"

"Finally, someone with a little respect!"

"Yes sir! I assume you're here because of this?"

Negi poked at the flag. "Wait, is this all you have?"

"There's all of our personal belongings underground, but..."

"No way! Shit, no Elbow Grease?"

"No headlight fluid?"

"Sorry, we've just got this flag."

"Well, I guess I can't leave empty-handed..." Negi plucked the flag from its placeholder. "Is it okay if I take this?"

"Sure…that makes sense. I guess." Scott flashed a thumbs-up before he fled the base.

Halfway through the canyon, Negi stopped once more to rest. "Man...they're gonna be so mad when I come back with just this stupid flag."

"Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this badass out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Sohma."

"Uh...Saotome, I can't drive that thing."

"You're telling me you're not Armor Certified?"

"I-I can't even use the Fucking sniper rifle, let alone drive a tank. Don't you know how to drive it?"

"No!" Ranma grabbed at his forehead. "Holy fucking crap, _**WHO IS RUNNING THIS GODDAMN ARMY?**_"

"The same one who put us together in an all-male platoon."

Scott once more poked his head from the base's entrance. "Hey just to let you know! The General stopped by and he picked up the flag!"

Ranma began to grumble incoherently before shouting "Yeah. Okay. Whatever moron! Why would they give us a tank if nobody knows how to drive the fucking thing? ...wait a second… what did he just say?"


	4. Teleporting and Sniping

**Red vs Blue: Anime Style**

**Part 1/Chapter 3: Teleporting and Sniping**

_All credits to the original script go to Rooster Teeth Productions, and all characters are credit to their creators. I own nothing but the OC's._

**CHURCH'S ROLE HAS BEEN GIVEN TO RANMA INSTEAD OF INUYASHA. While I gave Inuyasha the roll for InuKag purposes, I ultimately decided Ranma would fit the roll better. Only Because Ranma and Akane are always fighting. So don't rant at me about the change-I warned you!**

The soldiers of the Blue army had migrated to the top of the base. Ranma was perched with her sniper rifle, serving as a telescope, while the other two soldiers waited for their de facto leader to spot the flag snatcher.

Except, the flag snatcher didn't exactly snatch the flag.

"Let me get this straight-you gave this bitch our flag."

"Um...is that bad?" Scott smiled warily.

"Bad?" Ranma pushed his ponytail back. "Oh no, that's not _bad_. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?"

"I see him!" Kyo shouted, pointing at the figure in the distance. Ranma adjusted his sniper rifle, getting a good look at the red armored soldier wandering through the cliffs.

"I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs..."

Kyo scoffed. "He must be one sneaky son of a bitch."

Negi whimpered. "Man, I am so freakin' lost. Where's the base?"

"Shit...Sohma, look at his armor. It's red."

"Fuck that means it's their Sergeant. Wait a minute." Kyo got a better look at the figure. "He's way too short to be him."

"Commanding officers _have_ to have some sort of disguise abilities," Ranma grumbled. While he didn't _care _for the whole magic and elemental business incorporated into both army's training techniques, and in fact found it pointless and completely illogical and never bothered to memorize the techniques himself, he still _knew _it was around (but didn't accept it-not in the least). "Whatever. At least we know how he got by out defenses."

"Um...Saotome? He came through the back door where you guys were standing..."

"Whatever. Let's take him out!" Kyo grinned, pointing once again at the wandering Negi.

"Roger that." Ranma smirked. "Say goodnight, Sarge." He fired four shots-proving to himself that yes, the sniper rifle DID work-each going slightly left of where the target was. This prompted a silence among the group.

"Piece of..." Ranma growled. Finding Kyo staring at him, Ranma had to return the gaze. "What?"

"You're not very good at this, are you?"

"Who's certified to use the rifle, you or me?"

Negi wasn't prepared for the shots, which made him very thankful that whoever fired them was a lousy shot. The one closest to him he just needed to move his foot to avoid. "Son of a-hey! It's me!" Negi waved his arms in the air. "Don't shoot meeee! I bought the flag, remember? Heeey!"

"Great, now he's taunting us!" Kyo shook his cried.

"Ah, fuck it. Pilgrim, you stay here. Sohma and I are going to head through the teleporter, and we'll cut him off at the pass."

"Yes, ma'am!" Scott saluted.

"Sohma, ready to go?"

"I'm not going through that thing."

"Sohma, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it didn't work?"

"Oh...?" Kyo quickly flashed one of his trademark menacing grins, in hopes to distract Ranma. "Well, why would they give us a tank that nobody can drive?"

"We already tested the teleporter, remember?"

Kyo's face returned to the proper distressed state, since obviously his face change didn't work. "We threw _rocks _through it!"

"Yeah, so? They came out the other side. That means it works."

"Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff."

"Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about." Ranma scoffed. "You're afraid of a little black stuff."

"...yes. I am. I am afraid of a little black stuff."

Ranma sighed, raising his pistol. "Sohma, I almost hate to do this to you."

"Hey, Saotome!"

"I look at it this way," Ranma's eyes narrowed as he took on a menacing tone. "Either A, we go through there, and get back the flag, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you." He smirked. "Either way? I win."

Kyo sighed with defeat. "...for the record, I want you to know..._rocks aren't people_."

"Duly noted." Ranma forced his foot onto Kyo's back. "Now get in there."

"Alright, ONE TWO TH-!" Before Kyo's sentence was finished, Ranma kicked Kyo through the teleporter. The teal-armored soldier dissolved into a green light.

Although the other two fully anticipated their teammate to emerge from the other side, five seconds passed, then fifteen, then thirty, and finally a whole minute-with no sign of Kyo at all.

"...huh...he didn't come out the other siiide..." Scott murmured.

"Yeeeeaaaaah, you know what, screw what I said, I decided I like living and am not going through there." Ranma leaped from the top of the base after handing the sniper rifle to his fellow soldier, and began to charge across the canyon. "Stay here, Pilgrim! I'll be back with the flag!"

"What are you talking about?" Yuki closed one eye in annoyance. "I did not hear a _single_ shot."

Naruto sighed. "I'm telling you, it was four shots! Like, bam bam bam."

"...that's only three shots."

"_Bam_." Naruto raised his team's own sniper rifle. "Wait a second. We've got a blue guy on the move out there."

"Where's he headed?"

"Wait-there's Springfield-and he's got...Sohma, get the Warthog."

"You mean the Puma?" Yuki smiled deviously.

"Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war."

"Freeze!" Ranma drew his weapon when he caught up to the flag's carrier.

The Red Private fell onto his bottom, making a noise akin to that of a deflating balloon. "Why were you shooting at meeee?" Negi whined. "You could have hit me-!"

"Shut it, moron." Ranma kept a firm grip on his firearm. "Don't play stupid with me, Sarge. I know who you are. We've been spying on you for three weeks."

"Three weeks? I-I got here two hours ago!" Negi managed to work himself up onto his feet. "I'm just a Private!"

"...I guess you're right, you're so stupid, whiny and have an accent there's no _way_ you'd be anything higher than a Private."

"Hey-wait!"

"If you're a Private, then how did you manage to steal our flag?"

"Steal?" Negi's eyes widened. "I bought it with my own mone-" His sentence was cut off by the arrival of the charred Kyo, flying out of the teleporter and onto the unsuspecting Negi.

"-REE!"

"_**HOLY SHIT!**_" The sudden arrival caused the Blue soldier to drop his weapon.

"Who the-_**GET OFF MEEEE!**_" Negi screamed, working his way out from under the more well-endowed Kyo.

"Sohma, is that you?"

"What the-hey! How'd you get here ahead of me?" Kyo shouted.

"You got black stuff on me!" Negi pouted, wiping the debris from his armor.

The new arrival raised his weapon. "Freeze, Sarge!"

"I'm not the Sergeant, I'm still just a Private!"

"...wait. The Sarge is still just a Private?" The fantasy gears began turning in Kyo's head. One thought attached onto another, before Kyo's brain reached a certain perfectly reasonable conclusion.

"Oh. My. God. The teleporter _sent me back in time_."

"Hey, Tebaschtoua, we need to take the jeep," Naruto called to the robot, planting himself on the driver's seat. This model didn't need keys to run, so with a couple simple shifts of gears and pressed buttons the vehicle fired up, releasing the most annoying polka music the two Reds had ever heard in their 20-something years of living.

Yuki rose up and onto the back of the Warthog, gripping onto the trigger for the jeep's built-in lead murderer. "Let's roll. Don't worry, Tebaschtoua-he'll come back in one piece."

Tebaschtoua bowed, stepping out of the way.

Naruto glanced back at Yuki. "How can you ignore this crap music?"

"Try hearing it all the time growing up."

"Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you." Kyo gripped onto Ranma's shoulders. "Some time in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this kid here, he gets promoted to Sergeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them."

"Sohma."

"And they get this new jeep, and I'm like 'Dudes aren't into chicks with tanks!'"

"_Sohma._"

"I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals a flag while we're distracted!"

"Sohma, _shut the hell up. You haven't gone back in time_. This is the dumb ass who stole our flag."

"Hey!"

"Can it, Red. This short whiner isn't the Sergeant-disguise magic isn't powerful enough to change your entire body type to that of a 10-year old-he just happens to have the same armor color. He got in somehow, and got our fla-for God's sakes, _**WHAT IS THAT MUSIC?**_"

The jeep ascended over one of the hills, skyrocketing into the air and making a nice skid mark on the little bits of grass through the off landing. Naruto laughed triumphantly-making Ranma make an immediate break for it. "Son of a bitch! **RUN!**"

"Whoa!" Kyo grinned, trailing behind. "Hey, Saotome, the jeep followed me back in time!"

Ranma gripped onto Kyo's arm tight enough to cut off circulation. "Shut the hell up and _run_!"

The closest location was behind a nicely-sized rock, providing decent amount of cover for both of the Blue soldiers from the Red's stream of bullets.

"...thing's gotta run out of bullets sometime..." Ranma muttered.

Yuki took it upon himself to take care of the shooting with the Turret of Unlimited Bullets, accompanied by trash-talking it seems Yuki had saved up for longer than what was healthy, prompting Naruto to be the one to ask Negi just what the fuck was up with the situation.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"_No clue_. Everybody here is absolutely insane!"

"It tends to happen. How'd you get the flag?"

"...I asked for it?"

"That worked?"

"...is it not supposed to?"

"Well, we never thought to try that...look, just take the flag to the base. We'll explain there!"

"Can't you explain _now_?"

"Look, there's no time-just go!"

"Okaaaay..." Negi began to dart eastward.

"Back to **our** base dumbass!"

"Maa-sorry, I got turned around, that's all-!"

Scott's view was only through the sniper rifle Ranma had left behind. The 100x zoom gave the clearest picture of the clusterfuck that was the battle-almost like Scott was there, except he wasn't-thankfully-actually there.

"Ahhh...this is baaad..." He adjusted the weapon to inspect the Red's weapon. "Iyaaah...that's a big gun-!" An idea struck him, and he set down the rifle. "Stay here. Tank. Stay here. Tank. Oh screw it!" He hurried down the ramp and towards the Blue's brand-new weapon.


	5. Driving and Explosions

**Red vs Blue: Anime Style**

**Part 1/Chapter 4: Driving and Explosions**

_All credits to the original script go to Rooster Teeth Productions, and all characters are credit to their creators. I own nothing but the OC's._

Half an hour had passed with no other real event besides the canyon wall near the hiding place of Ranma and Kyo being sprayed with bullets, and it didn't seem to want to run out any time soon.

"My god..." Ranma exhaled with annoyance. "Doesn't that damn thing ever run out of bullets?"

"You know, in hindsight, we should have brought the tank."

"Sohma...what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody here knows how to drive it?"

Kyo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy."

"Well, yeah, but..." Ranma slumped onto the ground. "Oh man, I guess I gotta give that one to ya."

Scott managed to pop the hatch of the tank open after a half an hour of tinkering. The poor rookie wasn't exactly adept at working with technology, but the tank canopy _did _open, and he entered and lowered herself onto the seat. The tank's automatic driver detection system activated, and the buttons within the tank lit up.

"Hello, and thank you for activating the M808B Main Battle Tank," the voice cooed. It was rather odd, a tank being comforting. "You may call me Holo."

"Hello...Holo...big…tank-lady."

"Would you like me to run the tutorial program?"

"Oh!" Eager to actually _learn _something the others on his squad didn't already know, he nodded. "That'd be nice. Thank you!"

"Tutorial program activated. This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of the Pucshtion class tank. Let's begin with some driving." The tank began to move through the canyon on its own.

"Okay," Scott smiled, confident in himself that he could save him team with the help of the very nice tank-lady. He clenched his fists in anticipation.

"Sohma-_**HEY! SOHMA!**_" The bullet stream was earsplitting in volume, which left Naruto dumbfounded when Yuki actually responded to his name. "Man, that thing is loud."

"_**WHAT?**_"

"Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get 'em out."

"_**OKAY.**_"

"Keep it down, Yuki! Let's go before your loud mouth helps them figure out what's going on."

It hadn't even been five minutes before Scott had Holo backed up onto a tall rock. The wheels twisted and spun in a futile attempt to back the tank up.

"Now that you've mastered driving the M808B, let's move onto some of the safety features."

"No, wait! Tank-lady! Go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?" Scott wailed, slamming one pedal after another with high hopes of escaping the rock's trap.

"Psst," Ranma whispered, "Hey, they stopped firing."

"...why are you whispering?"

"...uhm...I don't know."

Naruto made his way to the foot of a cliff before reaching the conclusion that it wouldn't be the best means of reaching the Blues. "Crap, I don't think we're gonna be able to get around this way..."

"Tell me again, uh, why did we get out of the jeep?"

Unbeknowest to them, the tank had steered away from the rock and parked itself behind the Reds.

"Well, I guess it was this or sit there and watch you shoot rocks all day!"

"Well at least it was _fun_!"

"You call me the dumbass-holy crap." It was about then Naruto had noticed the gargantuan tank. "What in god's name is _that _thing?"

Scott activated the auto-fire sequence, and Holo's turret slowly pointed itself towards Naruto's head.

"Hold still-I don't think it sees us..."

"Sohma, don't be stupid," Ranma muttered. "They're just trying to draw us out."

"No they're not-look; they left the jeep. They're gone."

"...I don't know about this, it's pretty fishy, but...oh, screw it. Let's jack it."

"Uh, Sohma...why is it just sitting there?" Naruto squeaked, hiding behind Yuki.

"Just trying to mess with our heads-stop hiding behind me so we can get back to the Warthog! Come on. Let's go on three. One-"

"Wait. On three? Or three _then _go?"

"_On_ three. It's always faster to go on three. One..."

"Okay, Sohma. I'm going for the jeep-cover me." Ranma skidded down the cliffside.

"Target acquired."

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit..." Naruto fled from the scene.

"Two..."

"Target locked."

"Three!" Yuki spotted Naruto already halfway towards the direction of the Warthog. "Oh, you back-stabbing cockbite-!"

"Firing man cannon." The gun's turret spat out a miniature missle, striking the jeep and letting a collective "_**SON OF A BITCH!**_" from the three close to the tank. Holo fired again, then thrice more.

Ranma darted back up the canyon side, panting as he huddled behind the rock.

"Hey, Saotome, the jeep blew up."

"_No kidding_," Ranma grimmaced. "Thanks for the update, _Sohma._ Come on, let's get out of here."

Naruto and Yuki, scared shitless, secured themselves behind a rock that Holo aimed and fired continuously at.

"Hey I have a great idea," Yuki said, immitating Naruto, "Let's get out of the jeep and sneak around the back of the rock! _**GREAT PLAN YOU IDIOT.**_"

"All targets eliminated," Holo announced. "Acquiring new target."

"Hey, Sohma! Look-it's the rookie! And he brought the tank to scare off the Reds!"

"What?" Kyo poked his head out from behind the rock on the cliff. "Whoa! No way!"

"Hey, Pilgrim!" Ranma hollered, assuming that Scott could hear. "Why didn't you tell us you knew how to drive the tank?"

"New target acquired," the tank stated, her turret spun around to point at Ranma.

"Ah-! No, that's not a target, that's Saotome!"

"Yeah, it's me Saotome! What's going on, man?"

"Target locked."

"Noooo!" Scott screamed. "Target unlock! Unlooock! Please help me, nice lady-!"

"Firing main cannon."

"Uh-oh..." came Scott.

"Uh-oh..." came Kyo.

"What?" Ranma's brain clicked. "Oh son of a-"

Everything happened in a blur. The tank discharged, slamming a round into Ranma's stomach. The force of the blast sent him sprawling high into the air, hitting the top of the cliff and sent him spinning down back onto the ledge.

"Holy fuck! Holy shit!" Kyo sprung over the rock to aid the gushing-with-blood Ranma. "Are you okay, Saotome? Talk to me!" Kyo glarred at the rookie in the tank. "_**YOU SHOT SAOTOME YOU TEAM-KILLING FUCKTARD!**_"

"Auto-fire sequence deactivated."

Scott slumped.

"S...oh...ma..."

"Saotome!" Kyo propped Ranma against the cliff wall. "It's going to be okay-I'm going to-"

"No...ah...I'm...I'm not gonna make it..." Ranma coughed, squirting blood from his mouth. "Sohma...there's something...I need to tell you..."

"What? Saotome, what is it?"

"I want you to know..." The injured soldier's ponytail slid from his face, the hair fell in an almost symbolic fasion completly opposite of the next words to come out of his mouth. "I always...I always hated you. I always hated you the most."

"...yeah. I know you did." Kyo removed his hands, letting Ranma fall onto his back. "Now hurry up and die, you prick."

"...okay..." Ranma's last hurrah was a cough before the last bit of his consciousness slipped from his hands.


	6. Ghosts and Mercs

**Red vs Blue: Anime Style**

**Part 1/Chapter 5: Ghosts and Mercs**

_All credits to the original script go to Rooster Teeth Productions, and all characters are credit to their creators. I own nothing but the OC's._

It was only a mere few minute before the two Reds reached the top of their base. The situation had moved from the center of the canyon to close to the Red's base, making the retreat simple and easy. Negi was waiting with the captured flag on top of the base.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Big...tank...shooting..." Naruto panted, wiping sweat and bangs from her forehead. "Whoooh!"

Yuki glared down at the worn-out soldier. "Damn man. We only ran, like, three hundred feet. You are really out of shape."

"Fuck...you..."

"Where's your car?" Negi inquired upon noticing the jeep had disappeared.

"General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind," Yuki spat.

"Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up," Naruto glared back.

"You lost the jeep?" Negi's eyebrows curved in worry. "Maaa...Tebaschtoua's gonna be pissed. Where is it?"

As if on cue, the jeep decided planting itself on top of the base was a better alternative to being shot at by Holo.

"What the hell?" Naruto took a step back. This was followed by another tank blast. "Son of a bitch!"

"Holy crap! What is that thing?" Negi screamed.

"That's the tank!"

The tank fired yet again.

"Hey, uh...Uzumaki, you uh...you wanna hold the flag for a bit?"

"_Keep that thing away from me!_"

"Why do you keep firing at the jeep?" Kyo queried, figuring leaning up against a firing tank was not in the least partially suicidal.

"Because it's locked on!" the rookie cried back.

"Well unlock it."

"Last time I unlocked it, _**I KILLED SAOTOME!**_"

"...oh, right. Keep shooting the jeep then."

"I hate to be the one to point this out..." Negi gulped. "...but I think we're screwed!"

The tank didn't seem to want to stop firing at any point in the near future.

"Yeah..." Yuki nodded. "I have to agree with the rookie on this one."

The next thing the three soldiers knew, their headsets began to buzz and crackle.

"Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost, come in. Do you read me?"

"Oh god-Shugenatei, is that you?" Naruto gasped, making sure the microphone was at her mouth.

"Roger that, Private-and don't ever call me that ever again or I shall make your life a living hell. Anyways I am currently in-bound to your position from Command."

"Sir, this is Sohma," stated Yuki.

"Hello, Sohma. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone."

"...actually..." Naruto interrupted, "Things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived, and somehow he managed to infiltrate the blue base, and now we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of the Blues are dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base."

The radio crackled for one beat, then two beats, before Shugenatei said, "Am I talking to the right base?"

"_**WE'RE GOING TO DIE HERE!**_" Naruto screeched.

"God, fine, well then...hold on tight. I've got a solution to your tank problem." You could just see the embodiment of Dorean's darkness smirk from just those words alone.

Kyo was the first to hear the sound of the airplane flying up above.

"...oi, Pilgrim. You might wanna get out of the tank-like, right now."

"I can't figure out how to get this thing open-!" Scott wailed, pounding on buttons that activated random things, including night vision.

"Well hurry up!"

Missiles began to drop at this point, causing panic from both of the Blues. Kyo made a break for it, not even caring if the rookie decided to join Ranma in wherever-the-hell-he-was.

"Okay, open the door, uh, I-Holo, will you please open the door?"

A budge finally released the driver canopy, and Scott darted out like a bat straight out of hell. "Driver canopy open. Thank you for using the M808B main battle ta-"

Sadly, Holo's words were left unfinished before the last missile collided with her and made enough fireworks to make sure nobody wanted to see them even when the Fourth of July rolled in.

"Oh crap oh crap oh crap running running running-man that was close!" Scott shouted, clapping a hand on Kyo's shoulder when the two caught up.

"Look at the tank, though."

"I'm scared, Lawrence...will I dream?" Holo's voice deepened as a sign of her impending shutdown. "Frieeenndss..."

"_**HOLO! NOOOO!**_" Scott bawled in a fit of melodrama.

"What? No! Holo! Holo-wait, who's Holo?"

Scott sniffled. "Holo was the lady in the tank...she was my friend..."

"Oh dude! I knew you could pick up chicks with a tank!"

Without much trouble, the Blues reached their base and took this downtime to not only inform Command of the situation, but for Kyo to have Scott scrub his clothes (including hand-washing the bulletproof armor). At that moment Kyo stood with his headset.

"Now you sure you got everything off of me?" Kyo asked Scott before making the call. "Come in, Blue Command. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me?"

A male voice responded from Command. "This is Fullmetal of Blue Command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha."

"Hey, Fullmetal! We need help."

"Roger that, Blood Gulch! What's up?"

"I don't know what the technical military term for it is-but uh-we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men!"

A "snrrk" came from the other end.

"...what?"

"Dude, how long have you guys been _down there_?" came Edward's laughter.

"Oh fuck you-we need men to _help us_!"

"Alright, sheesh-did you get the tank we sent?"

"Yeah, that got blown up too."

Another chuckle. "Wow, sucks to be you."

"Yeah, we know," Kyo groaned.

"Alright, kiddies, here's what I can do. The nearest Blue forces can be there in sixteen days, or-"

"Sixteen days? Dude, that's over two weeks!"

"I wasn't done yet, you know. Look, like I was saying, it was either _that _or I can hire a nearby freelancer and get him there within a few hours."

Scott looked up from behind of Kyo (he was cleaning Kyo's armor of the black stuff dumbasses). "I like the 'in an hour' one."

"Me too." Kyo nodded. "Roger that, Fullmetal, we prefer the quicker solution."

Ed sighed. "...alright, 10-4 Blood Gulch, we will contact freelancer Tex, and have him there post-haste. Fullmetal out." The radio clicked off.

"Whoever he is, he better be able to fix the tank."

"Hey, Sohma? What's a freelancer?" Scott asked.

Kyo answered Scott's question while they headed for the base. "Freelancers are independant, they're not Red _or _blue. They're just guns for hire, who'll fight for whoever has the most money."

"Oh, like a mercenary!" Scott smiled, nodding eagerly.

"Right, or like your mom, when the rent's due."

Scott did a sarcastic. "Don't make me mad."

An eerie chill crept through the area in and around the base.

"Sohma...Soooohmaaaa..."

Both soldiers' heads snapped in the direction of the ominous breeze.

"Who the hell are you?" Kyo screamed.

"I am the ghost of Saotomeeee...and Iiii've come back with a waaarniiiiing..."

"You're not Saotome!" Scott pouted. "He had blue armour. Yours is white. What happned to your ponytail?"

"...Pilgrim, shut the hell up. I'm a _goddamn ghost_. Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?"

"Yeah, it's definitely him," Kyo casually laughed.

"Thanks a lot, now I gotta start over again..." Ranma cleared her throat. "Sohma...Soooohmaaaa...I've come back with a waaaarning..."

"Hey, it's freaking badass that you're a ghost and all, but do you _really _need to do the voice?"

"No offense, Saotome, but it's annoying."

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Fine, I was having fun, but whatever-"

"What, Mister Anti-Fun is actually going against his very existence?" Kyo smiled.

"Fuck you. Okay, here's the deal. I'm here to warn you about Tex. Don't let-"

"Oh! What's the warning?" Scott asked, a little too excited for the subject matter.

"Shut up for one second and I'll tell you!"

"Sorryyyy..."

"Seriously, man, I mean, I'm coming back from the great beyond here. You think this is easy? It's not. It's not like I just, you know, just pop in and out whenever I feel like it, it takes a lot of concentration."

"I said I'm sorryyyy..."

"I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with, but now I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man!" Ranma exhaled, trying to control her bouts of anger. "Okay. Here's the deal."

"Is this the warning?"

Ranma made a noise similar to that of what one reads the keys as when you smash random ones into the keyboard. "Alright, that's it, I swear to _God_, Pilgrim, your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you."

"I thought being here took concentration!" Scott protested.

"Look, Pilgrim, you're even starting to bug _me_," Kyo stated.

"Alright, look-Sohma, you remember how I told you I was stationed in Sidewinder before they put me in this hellhole, right?"

"...no."

"Sidewinder-that's the icy place with the non-magicy but elemental name, right?"

"Mmhm."

"Cool! What was _that _like?"

"...it was cold?"

"Come on, Saotome! You can do better than that."

"What do you want from me, a poem? It's a place made almost entirely out of ice. It's _really, fuckin', cold_."

Kyo sighed. "Can you just let him talk?"

"Thanks, Sohma. Alright-well, one day when I was there, everything was just like normal. I remember, I was out on patrol with my partner Danny. That Danny was a real good kid, everybody liked him. He kinda looked like you, Pilgrim, except he wasn't an annoying team-killer."

"I said I was sorry-!"

"Hey Saotome, was I a good kid?" Kyo grinned.

"Sohma, don't get jealous man, just listen to the story, okay? Like I said, guys were hanging around, waitin' for some action, bitching about the cold..."

_"Man, it's fucking cold," one of the soldiers complained._

_"I hope we get some action."_

"Anyway, Danny was in the middle of telling me all about his girlfriend back home."

_"Yep, as soon as I get back...I'm gonna get down on one knee and ask her to marry me." Danny smiled, letting the chilly breeze blow back his hair. "...you shouldn't have your hair in a ponytail Saotome."_

"And that's when Tex showed up. ...Private Mickey was the first to go. He was halfway across the base when all of a sudden he just started screaming bloody murder."

_Ranma couldn't even respond to Danny's comment before Private Mickey began to scream. "Bloody murder, bloody murder!"_

_The soldiers readied themselves for an intense fight. There was five soldiers stationed in Sidewinder-they could take a mysterious black-armored freelancer, right?_

_But no. As soon as Mickey was down, the other two were next, both dying the same way._

_Ranma and Danny began to fire rapidly before Freelancer Tex had teleported behind them._

"Whole thing was over before it even started. Poor Danny was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Danny's skull right out of his head and beat him to death with it."

"...whoa, wait. That's cool and all, but how do you beat someone to death with their own skull?" Kyo quirked a brow. "Magic, elemental or not, that doesn't seem physically possible!"

"That's just what Danny kept screaming!"

_"This doesn't seem physically possible!" Danny shouted for the fifth time, before collapsing in his own blood._

_Tex discarded the skull before leaving as quickly as he came._

"Bottom line is, Saotome...these freelancers are bad news. Tex's one of the worst."

"If he's such a badass, why didn't he kill you?"

"...don't know why I'm not dead."

"But you are," Scott frowned.

Ranma sighed, choosing to ignore the rookie. "He could've killed me at any point. But maybe it's because sh-he and I have run in to each other once before."

Kyo leaned in curiously. "Where?"

"You uh, you remember that girl I told you about back home? Well, let's just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married." Ranma's already ghostly presence began to dissolve. "Guys, I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back. Just listen to my warning: don't let Tex get involved here-and for god's sakes, Pilgrim don't kill anyone." Ranma shut his eyes, letting himself fade away.

"...wait a minute. Something's not right," Kyo cupped his chin. "is he actually a...?"

"Oh!" Scott looked to his left. "Hello strange black-armor man!"

The freelancer, coated from head to toe in black armor, stepped onto the dirt without uttering a sound.


	7. Author's Note

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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Fenris187

blood enraged

arashiXnoXkami

Masane Amaha's King

Blueexorist

Nero Angelo Sparda

Uzunaru999

Time Hollow

fg7dragon

church2550 (formerly 6r1f1n470r)


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